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I don’t know, but where oh where do I begin?

Will someone tell me that it’s only natural that the brother gets the preferential treatment while I’m being given the ‘please-wait’ treatment?

The printing company has spawned off another printing company (this time non GST registered for all those budget conscious customers) in recent weeks and it just bugs me that I am not in the loop in the planning phase of all these stuffs.

Won’t it bug you too when you’re one of the ‘senior fellas’ in the company and you only knew that your company expanded the moment they knocked on your door to tell you that they need your help in shifting a few boxes because the company has expanded?

My new recruit, actually the new designer who’s supposed to take charge of design related stuffs at the new place, asked me this while we were having lunch, a few days back.

“Why are you still here?”

And you know what my first thoughts were?

“Goddammit why am I still here?” and this, ladies and gentlemen, this was my very first thought which was followed by this, “I guess I can’t leave this baby (the company) on its own, until it’s found its feet to stand on its own.”

It sucks that I bear such a responsibility, that the gap I leave behind is too much for them to cover, so it’s really hard for me to avoid sabotaging the business, which I think I would be doing if I choose to leave now.

BUT it sucks more that I’m overstaying myself, when there are opportunities and industries that I’m anxious to dive into.

Talk about diving, did I mention that Farah and Dal wants me to go diving in Tioman this October?

That’s right, the one place that I dread going but dream of being on — the food, the locals, the tranquility.. the everything!

Wait, did you spot the difference of ‘dread going’ and ‘dream of being on’, cos I get seasick easily and the busride+boatride to Tioman is uber nauseating (is this the correct use of the word?) — BUT one that I’ll gladly face and suffer just to feel the white, soft, glowing sands of Salang, Tioman.

So will I be going? Hmmmm.. I’m still undecided.

Gee, where do I begin?