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Had a real long talk over lunch with J today, and if you’ve seen the part where I gave myself 3 months to decide on my resignation, you’d knew that it’s going to be an awkward talk, mano-a-mano, but one that’s more than welcomed as I seek to find anything that’s remotely close to a closure.

But it wasn’t awkward at all as we chatted over Nasi Ayam Penyek (probably the best in town!!), cos J n me are like brothers already, even though he’s a Malaysian Chinese PR here and I’m a geeky, techy, sporty and positively indecisive Malay lad. In fact, he refers to me as his ‘adek’ (Malay for younger brother) everytime, and let me tell you that this is a very reassuring thingy indeed.

Boss, who is J’s older brother and sole shareholder of the company, don’t speak much English and doesn’t really know how to explain things to me, and I understand that part. Everytime Boss sits beside me, I can sense his anxiety as if he’s trying to come up with the words but they’re simply stuck inside, and we’ll end up exchanging banters on football results instead.

It’s been like that for a long while now. This lack of communication is what I mentioned to J as the catalyst to my paranoia, which led to my thoughts of resignation as a possibility (or is this an escape???). I mean, if I see no security in my future, if I sense no advancements in my developments, if I’m not getting the expected renumerations than that which I can get elsewhere, then am I mistaken if I leave one foot out the door?

Communications is integral in any business (or relationships), and miscommunications are the bane of small companies, who rely so much on the people’s strength instead of product, system or service. Bad communications is still okay, but morale will deteriorate over time.

And then no communications is insanely deriding.

Eg, and if you’ve been to as much as I have, I sense this lack of respect from the forum users there against those that make up the government, and I tend to defend the governement’s actions/reactions simply because if it weren’t for them, we (Singaporeans) probably won’t be where we are today. I have as much respect for them as I have for their disregard towards minorities (no, I’m not talking of race age or gender related issue here) of any topics/subjects.

For certain, their communication before action modus operandi is a relief. I’ve yet to pinpoint a situation where they acted without any prior information. Like do you see them raising GST without warning? Or do you see them closing roads for an event without any mention weeks, or maybe months before?

No, I’m not trying to act patriotic towards my government, but I’m simply trying to single out the point that good communications, saves lives — and it’s a dramatic remark, but it does saves lives.

Whoose live and how it saves, its up to anyone’s interpretations, and in coming back to the lunch thingy with J, we commnicated aplenty and as we seeked to resolve each other’s miusunderstandings, we gained nothing less than respect, trust and most important of all, a sense of confidence on the future. At least it’s better than nothing.

So will my time be up in less than 1 month now? Though one of my foot is already out the door, I suppose the momentum of the other has slowed down a little after this simple lunch, and in fact it’s probably going to stay that way for a while now.

My other ventures, while accumulating positively, aren’t exactly flying so I have no concrete reasons to say that I’ve another solid pillar (other than my day job ) to hold onto. So there’s still this little doubt that if I leave I may not be able to sustain my bills/expenses/responsibilities just yet, but I’m not conceding defeat either.

I’ll still work at them steadily, build them incrementally, and all the while persevering through time’s lack of friendliness with me. I can’t create time, but I can certainly make full use of whatever there is and ‘tahan’ (Malay for hold on) longer.

No pain no gain. Right?