Of Friends

A good friend of mine gave me a question to consider: Is it harder to make friends as we get older?

Here’s my answer: No.

Okay, so that was a dumb and quick answer but allow me to deliberate on the similes involving friends.

First there’s Conversances. Then comes Acquaintances. Next up will be Friends and last but not least would be your BFFs (Best Friends Forever) or DBs (Drinking Buddies!!)

Some people, you talk to them once in a while, either along the way to your workplace or perhaps that bus captain that greets you every morning, after you asked him/her how much to Tanah Merah Interchange. These are your conversances. You recognise them, but you don’t really bother to find out their name or what curry they like to go with their prata. You simply have conversations with them. These are the faces that pass us by everyday.

And then there is acquaintances, whom are people you know. You know their names, where they work or live and usually have a quick chat and laugh before moving on to your own lives. And that’s where the relationship ends. You really don’t know about their personal life and generally it stays that way. These are people you meet at the workplace or friends of your friends. These are easy to come by and not hard to find at all, no matter the age. Usually they are work related and these are like seeds that slowly grow to become friends.

Yes, finally there are friends. Wonderful creatures these things are, but somehow not as wonderful as the BFFs (Best Friend Forevers) or DBs (Drinking Buddies). Youknow them, what they like to eat and drink. You know what clothes they’ll wear tomorrow. You know their family and you even know what makes them happy or sad. Now these are friends, creatures who have nothing to hide among one another and generally enjoys each other’s company. It is built upon trust. Friends trust each other. Period.

And what about BFFs or DBs? I reckong that these are the ones that you’d give all out in helping them achieve what they need to achieve. You shed tears, blood and skin together. You go through thick and thin with each other. You know that you love each other’s company and wonders how the other is doing. Simple topics like pratas, girls, boys and that latest Blockbuster drama on TV which kind of appears like a comedy *koff-red-thread-koff* become hot debates which will blow up occasionally, and which are easily forgiven by a simple nudge or smile. BFFs or DBs are our escape from family.

Making friends aren’t as easy as acquaintances, as people are generally privy by nature. The nature of friends is that they help each other, laugh and have fun together, and share to solve problems with each other. As enticing as it sounds, the latter reason is sometimes a 2 edged sword. If there need be a reason that its harder to find friends when we’re older, then this is it.

You see, the longer we live, the more problems we face daily, and the more rants and complaints that we tend to share with others. Sure, friends won’t mind hearing a problem or helping to provide a solution once, but when it becomes a habit, that’s where even the best of friends will stray away. No doubt there are plenty of selfless beings out there who time and time again bail out their friends, but if we’re talking about making new friends, nobody goes around looking for a ‘problem child’.

So how do we make friends as we get older? Easy, present a pleasant personality thats rarely crippled with problems and people will naturally gravitate towards you. 

There you go. Cheers.