Tired. Just tired. I’m not sure how long it’ll take the new designer to be able to step up to my plate, cos it seems that several inputs and demonstrations are required before she grasps the idea. Well at least she grasped it right, and being the second day at work, I suppose that she did fairly ok, but I’m slowly growing tired.
I’m starting to sense that my mere presence is causing others to slack – cos they know that they can depend on me. I recall back then, during my early days of how I was left to handle all the jobs on my own, and how I utilised 4 workstations at the same time to complete my day — it only made me push myself further.
Though I enjoy overcoming challenges, the sheer intensity of these few days’ workload is an unwelcomed burden, but one which I certainly do cherish. It’s hard to describe what work is, cos I do a bit of everything, and everything can be a bit too much at times.
The one good thing about it is that work brings a new challenge everyday, and that keeps it fresh for me, but as fresh as it sounds, it wears me down constantly. And this attrition makes me tired, really tired.
And no, I’m not looking at any pay raise. No, I’m not looking for any easier jobs. And no, certainly I’m not wishing that things could be different. I just long for a long holiday.
Anyway. my upcoming Terrengganu trip won’t be much of a holiday I’m sure. It’ll probably compose lots of mad rush to eat, shop, visits and bbq-ing. I doubt that I’ll be able to spend half a day undisturbed on my own — which I crave for dearly at the moment.
My number one wish tonight: To get stranded on an island with only an EeePC (to surf the net) and an mp3 player (to get emotional while listening to songs!) as my companions. I think I’ll even settle for a dream like that tonight. I wish…