I play a lot of games and make myself busy to distract myself, as well as to ‘let looose‘, so to speak, and the thought of ‘why do i game so much when there’s so many other things that I can do?‘ lurks inadvertently.
Actually, I’ve had a lot of thoughts lately — not that I’ve not had much thoughts or haven’t been thinking much! — and it’s getting to a point where the expansiveness of it all sorts of numbs me.
That’s right, I get numb thinking about thinking. Hoah? You know, I confuse myself at times too..
Sometimes I think if I should simply wing it and go for broke while there are times where I wonder if it’s better that I play it safe and do what I do best. That comes to my next thought of ‘Really, just what is it that I do best?‘.
Good question, but unfortunately it is one that I’ve haven’t placed much thoughts to, more importantly perhaps not as much as ‘how do I start creating that killer iphone app?’ or ‘why i that black BMW car driving in 2 lanes simultaneously?’.
My point is, quite simply, that I think I frivolously spend time thinking about things that aren’t quite ‘soup questions’, where ‘soup questions’ are questions that you ask which enables you the opportunity to put a bowl of soup in front of you, on your dining table, someday.
It’s so easy to admit that I’m guilty of trying to get too many things done at break-neck pace, while desperately having to keep track of things to maintain and grow. It’s even easier to say that I’m easily attracted to new opportunities and events, and that’s why, since the past year or so, I have this personal motto of ‘eat only what you can while give as much, maybe more, of what you desire‘.
Backtracking, to my earlier thought of ‘Really, just what is it that I do best?’. I’m slowly realising that I’m best used as a thinker instead of a do-er, and as *koff* brilliant *koff* as I am as a do-er, I think I’ve arrived at a period in life whereby I really really need to do a lot less, and give (ideas) a lot more.
Fortunately I’m being given this opportunity at the office, and am glad that myself and everyone around me is helping me transcend nicely into this new role I’m playing, and I can’t deny that I’m loving every minute of it.
Still, I can’t help myself but to continue asking myself, “What can I do next?“, of which I’d then get a plethora of suggestions and ideas flood my naked brain, filling me with mental dementia and derisory contempt.
Of which I’ll then transcend into a game of DoTA or <insert-game-here>.
And the vicious cycle resumes…