Elastic Heart

Sia is an awesome performer.

Chandelier wasn’t a flash in the pan, and she’s certainly no one-trick pony.

Maddie Ziegler, that little girl you see performing along to her songs in MVs, is another talent too.

Then there is the consistent and inextinguishable Shia LaBeouf, whom together with these two girls, gave birth to this delectable monster:

“I’ve got thick skin and an elastic heart.” Sia croons, as the emptiness in you slowly dissipates and you feel yourself coming back gradually,  gathering courage and what-nots from the depths of your inner-most fears.

“But your blade it might’ve been too sharp.” And as the strength creeps in, you feel vulnerable. Your knees weak, arms heavy, yet you shrug off the exhaustion, and dive head-first. You stubbornly try again.

“I’m like a rubber band until you pull too hard.” You keep thinking why? You keep wondering when? You never doubt your nerves of steel, but you realise you’re only human.

“Yeah I may snap and I move fast. But you won’t see me fall apart. Cause I’ve got an elastic heart.” Life won’t be easy, but it goes on.


Stop holding back

Above all else, I’d value a straightforward piece of conversation than one that’s encrypted and convulated, but people are wont to keep emotional matters under wraps.

If only words were easier said than sung.

And if living was a piece of soundtrack, right now I’d be ‘Memories‘ from Panic At The Disco, reminiscing in retrospect of my past year or so.

That is indeed an awesome, sparkling song from their latest album ‘Vices & Virtues’, aptly labeled, as if it’s calling out at me, and deftly lyricised too, after the band’s split.

I’m definitely liking their new sound a lot, and I can’t wait to get my hands on the full album, but as it is now, ‘Memories’ suffices.

The lyrics are blessedly gorgeous, while the music is “beautifully depressing“.

Just beautiful.

‘”He was the Congregation’s vagrant; With an unrequited love;”..

.. makes me feel so attached to the song.

“When your passion’s exultation; Then finding refuge is not enough;“..

.. leaves me stigmatised.

It reminds me of how I tried to be as transparent as I could, of how I tried being as expressive as I should, and of how I was trying to be as appreciative as I would, and yet memories are all I have in return.

Not strangely, it also reminds me of how painful it is to find out that not everyone is as transparent as they would, not entirely expressive as they could, and of how they’re rarely appreciative.

From crushing relationships to crumbling business ventures, if there’s one thing that I’ve learnt it is that there’s no harm in trying and giving it all.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s unwise to let the truth be known, like is it better if things were left to traject on their own?

I’m certainly not one for surprises, and I keep things as certain as I could, but there are things that I just can’t control.

Like how easily it is for me to succumb to my past attachment whenever she comes around at the office, and how crushing it is for me to pull myself away each time.

It took a lot out of me, as I recuperated emotionally these past months, moving forward and dedicating myself to someone else.

Indeed, I could so easly slip into her all over again, but that just foolish of me to crash and burn twice like I wont, wouldn’t it?

And I wonder if I should stop her from ‘going away’, but I wonder more if it’s better if I let the pieces of the puzzles fit themselves.

Lost love has taught me against holding back, but I can’t help in raising my walls higher this time, but I do fondly cling onto our memories, as I fail to prevent myself carving a smile or two whenever I think of them.

No doubt it’s been an educational and emotional ride for me, and as much as I’d wish for things to turn out differently, well I “Should’ve known right from the start; You can’t predict the end.”

I’m holding back, when I probably shouldn’t.

I wish someone would tell me, “Don’t hold back”.

So let me tell you this, “Stop holding back.”

‘Cos you’re denying yourself of memories of what could have been.


Wake Up

Blast your speakers before you play this.

Best if your boss is talking in front of you.

Best if you’re in a complicated relationship.

Best if you think that there’s something breeding in you, and you can’t let it out, you go “Ahhhhhh ahhhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh”.

Enjoy: ‘Wake’ up by The Arcade Fire, from the album ‘Funeral’.

Download high quality version of song here.

Makes you wanna rock it in a rock band huh?

Marianas Trench: Masterpiece Theatre review.

Have you heard of Marianas Trench?

Well I stumbled upon them while I was stumbling upon Kristyn’s blog, Pretty Missile, and I sort of enjoyed the preview I got there.

Long story short, I bought their album, was tremendously impressed — after a long while of stale melodies and riffs — and thought that I could recommend you a listen to the album ‘Masterpiece Theatre’.

Here we go..

Full of Acapella verse and goofy, lyrically majestic and musically refreshing — what’s not to like about Canada-based Marianas Trench, especially when their music videos might fool you into thinking that it was a mentos commercial (and not that their songs wouldn’t complement such commercials though~)?

From the contemporary catchy ‘All To Myself’ to the soothingly smooth ‘Beside You’ to the emotional emphatic explosive endearment of ‘Lover Dearest’, a song that derived from a letter written to a drug addiction.

That the latter song (full lyrics here)is written by Josh Ramsay, lead vocals, while he was in rehab makes it all the more compelling, and as you breathe in his honest confessions of “..my tongues turnin’ black, but I’ll take you back, your still the best more or less..” and “..it hurts me to say that it hurts me to stay
and it might be all right if you go..
“, it all builds up into an emphatic crescendo of an ending with “..i think that the bitter in you and the quitter in me is the bitter in you and quitter in me..“.

That ‘Lover Dearest’ is just one of the many listenable, emotionally charged and tight lyrics with teasing riffs, justifies this denouement that is their follow-up album, aptly titled ‘Masterpiece Theatre’, to ‘Fix Me’.

The beautifully arranged and directed music vid, ‘Beside You’.

Worth listening from the album includes ‘Perfect”, a raunchy riffy song for any day and the 3 parts ‘Masterpiece Theatre’, which is experimentally musically yet ably sounding complete, rich and exquisitely executed.

You’ve got to appreciate the candid outlook of the guys mixed with sober experimentation of their sound, and which band do you know of that holds a contest for anyone to grab the chance of doing a duet with them in a performance of their next song?

What a delicately painful-yet-oh-so-passionate duet ‘Good to you’ is indeed (with Kate Voele on the track), that reminds you of the moment where you’re caught in between something you’re-not-but-willing-to-be and the real you.

And if the more upbeat tracks like ‘Sing Sing’ and ‘Celebrity Status’ don’t make you feel like giving your bums a good workout, then perhaps I might’ve erred when I claim them as THE next big band to break out into mainstream this year.

Recommend for tasteful audiophiles everywhere, and even if you’re not one of them, I’d guarantee that you’d still be able to appreciate the album.

Oh, did you know that ‘Mariana Trench’ is actually the world’s deepest ocean trench? Well, now you do.

And Marianas Trench’s music is deep indeed.

Love the way you lie.

… I can’t tell you what it really is. I can only tell you what it feels like, and right now it’s a steel knife in my windpipe.

I can’t breathe but I still fight while I can fight, as long as the wrong feels right, it’s like I’m in flight.

High off of love, drunk from my hate, it’s like I’m huffing paint, and I love it.

The more I suffer, I suffocate, and right before I’m about to drown, she resuscitates me, she fucking hates me, and I love it.

On the surface it’s just verse after verse of a love-hate relationship, but beneath the veil it’s really a raw, sinister, possessive, obsession of love.

Do you get fueled up when his cold words ring through your ears?

Don’t your heart weep when her frail voice reeks of blind compassion?

Domestic violence, in any form is extremely condemnable, and it’s a disgusting act but it’s one that sub-conciously gets played out by anyone, and you’re simply full of denial and ignorance if you say you’re never guilty of it.

Admit it, your heart has secretly wished it so before, or you’ve mistimedly witnessed it before, even if it’s so much as a displeasing glare over a discussion.

Violence, is perceptive right?

But seriously if you’ve never really seen domestic violence, then it’s either you’re blind, or you’re probably a piece of aimlessly drifting log.

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe when you’re with ’em.

You meet and neither one of you even know what hit ’em.

Got that warm fuzzy feeling. Yeah, them those chills you used to get ’em

Ever fortunate enough to have felt that warm fuzzy feeling, or perhaps unfortunate enough that it turned cold and crushes you, like knives stabbing incessantly?

Like when you work to try and make things right, only to find your efforts thwarted and you’re made to wait, and later finding out that you were never really one of the priorities in life?

Like when you’re so close, yet you’re made to feel so distant, or worse that they’re spending time with someone else?

And then your heart starts with all these questions and your mind races everywhere.

And the moment you meet, it all goes away as if nothing in the world really ever matters anymore.

Then the air is squeezed out of you as your heart desires to get closer and suddenly time skips beating normally and rushes through.

Then it comes for goodbye, and it feels cold once again.

Come inside, pick up your bags from the sidewalk. Don’t you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?

I told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball, next time I’m pissed, I’ll aim my fist at the drywall.

Next time, there won’t be no next time, and I apologize even though I know its lies.

I’m tired of the games I just want her back.

Then you wonder if you should stay or leave, because it’s getting harder for you to stay especially after you’ve committed yourself and it’s one way.

Still you decide to stay, but then they decide it’s easier to pack up and see what life brings.

And then you decide that some things can’t remain the way they are and you disintegrate.

So you choose to burn away your memories, bridges, thoughts and everything because when it’s ash, it’s easier to sweep em under the rug.

Still it doesn’t go away that easily, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.

That’s okay because I like the way it hurts.

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry.

That’s okay because I love the way you lie.

Love the way you lie – Eminem, Ft Rihanna. — & I love this song to bits.

The regret, the anger, the remorse, the satisfaction, the obsession, the hatred, the acquittal, the love, the joy, the sadness, the vindication, the mesmerization, the possession, the vileness, the sorrow, the forgiveness, the fights, the tension, the forcefullness, the blindness, and all the emotional trip that goes along with it..