The much needed break.

I can’t help it but to steal kisses as she’s sleeping.. so serene, so calm, so peaceful she is..

Oh what was it that I wanted to blog about? Let’s see..

How about.. Liverpool FC? My second religion, if you had to ask, and how I’m having mixed thoughts of how the season has been. Our next league game is against Swansea, a team where I used to pick while playing Championship Manager of old, playing from 3rd division, and all the way rising through the ranks into the Premiere League — not without one or two cheat codes of course! *winks*

Swansea doesn’t really allay that much of a concern to me, but it’s the trips afterwards, after the international break, to Chelsea and the hosting of Manchester City, before heading back to meet Chelsea that sorts of gives me the chill, because Liverpool never really gets an awesome result, to put it mildly, whenever they return from the break. Splendid indeed.

So what else..

NS! Of which I’ve managed to succesfully, dodge all the obstacles thrown, subversed and darted in my way. From late-comers to late-bloomers, NS turned out to be a revelation!

For the first time, I had to man the helm of my unit on my own, and though it wasn’t easy, the truth is I thought I kinda liked it. The perks that came along with being the biggest bad-ass on the pitch became quite a challenge and a thrill indeed. There’ll be guys that will dog you on for mild incentives like taking shortcuts and short breaks, annoying you a little as the requests pile on, and then there are those that will look to you as a source of motivation and inspiration, driving you forward until the end of the day.

Indeed it’s not a place that I personally chose to be in, but it’s one that I’ll heartily grab at, and given the opportunity, I’m inclined to think that I did no harm for that period, of 4 days of maintenance training, where for the first time also, I cleared my physical proficiency tests, my high-powered sub-machine gun marksmanship, as well as acing the wilfully hand-held revolver classification shootings. Thank god!

And then..

After years of taking a break from the collectible card game, I went straight back into competitive magic, still chasing for that one Friday Night Magic, or FNM win!

With what time I’ve left after my NS commitments, the magic deck I crafted and piloted at JCube’s FNM is probably the strongest ever deck that I’ve ever used for FNM. Despite losing all three closely contested pairings for the night, I think I ended up with valuable lessons from a few awesome people there, with this memorable quote that I likely will remember for nights to come: “A 5 casting cost card should be winning the game for you when it comes out. It’s the card that turns the tide into your favour. That’s what a 5 casting cost card should do in today’s metagame.

The credit to the quote goes to a certain Russell, branded as ‘loud’ by my pals, but skillful and thoughtful nevertheless, as those words of his rang within my earlobes as if giving me that wake up call that I’ve been ignoring all these while. Why have I been ignoring it, when I’ve known it all along?

I think you know how sometimes there are things where one is fully and highly aware of and yet keeps doing the same mistake of not paying heed to them, only to indulge in games of questions involving ‘Why?’s. Well I guess it’s human nature to be reminded of things that should matter to them.

Sometimes a timely reminder is all that we need, and (I guess) fortunately for me, another timely reminder is on its way soon — the Hari Raya Haji holidays, a much needed 2 days off-from-work break.

Perhaps it’s time to take a break from life’s chalice of chaos and mayhem and invest into a well spent lull of a time with my loved ones.

Ooh, that’s another challenge indeed for me!

Unintended Hiatus – Part II

It’s not that I’ve lost the desire to blog again, but everytime I whip out Marsedit and a new post, I end up deleting the draft within half an hour.

Then I slip back into my ‘gaming-addict’ mode, and indulge in a few rounds of DOTA, Minecraft or start watching Ugly Betty and The Big Bang Theory all over again.

I guess I’ve yet to grow up if growing up is all about dealing with the issues that you face in life, and there are issues that I face in life that I’ve yet to face up to, like relationships, for example.

Relationships are simple, but unfortunately people aren’t.

There are those whom I’ve crossed paths with that claim to be disillusioned with love (and relationships) and losing faith in it, but why should you lose faith in love and all its glory when it’s really people that’s wrecking everything?

Me? I’ll always believed in that elusive and shy thingy called love and as such, I’ll never turn away from a fresh start.

I’m pious when it comes to second chances, and the notion that people can change for the better, because I’ve seen how people can change when you give them a reason to.

Anyway, about this hiatus, let’s start with the most recent event and that is my NS Reservist training with my unit, and it sure feels damn good to have a break from the chaos that is work and to meet up with old, familiar faces.

I love my unit, I really do, and I think I’m blessed with such a cohesive bunch of men from all walks of life, and indeed it’s been a privilege to serve my time with them.

Strangely I don’t need any forcing to make myself sleep before 10pm during my NS period, because as soon as I reach home from camp, which is about 8-9pm, I immediately lay down on my bed and the next thing I know, it’s 5.30am and it’s time to get ready for camp again.

For 4 and a half days, life was so, and yesterday I was back at the office, and I realised that the company can, and doing it well too, cope without me around — and this is definitely a great piece of news for me!

It means I can finally go on that long awaited sabbatical next year, which when you think about it, is my 7th year of plundering along in this industry.

I have longed for a chance to diverse myself into another industry and last year, when I thought that I’ve found one, events unfolded itself this year to wreck all my plans and resources and, like a beached whale, I’m left stranded and seemingly helpless.

Like I said earlier, relationships are simple, but people aren’t and unfortunately for me I fall hopelessly in love ever so easily.

And because I keep my faith that love is possible and that in its essence it’s a beautiful thing to give and share, I trip up ever so often as I allow myself to dive in easily, and maybe hastily as well.

Like my passion for gaming, soccer, studying, working and everything that I do, I tend to dive right in and try to be as good and as effective as I can, but I’ve learned that not everyone plays it the way I do.

Some like to take it slow, and some are just shy. *winks*

No matter how similar and compatible two people can be, there’s always a black swan lurking, and until both parties are able to embrace one another, the black swan lurks quietly.

The trouble with being a simple person, is that you think that everyone else is simple too.

And then when you get your heart broken again, and again, and again, you know that you’re still that good and simple person, but you learn to lookout for yourself a little bit more and you learn to make your heart a little bit colder.

Like a tattoo that’s never easily erased, relationship scars, but it’s definitely worth every little precious moments spent with, the ones whoose path you’re blessed to have walked on and been a part of.

And then sometimes, you just know that you can’t stay on that path any longer.

With a heavy, fragmented and tourniqueted heart, I go.

I can’t waste time.. So give it a moment.. I realize nothing’s broken..
No need to worry about everything I’ve done.. Live every second like it was my last one..

Tattoo by Jordin Sparks

(Damn emo blog has been lately lah, but I guess that’s a part of what blogging’s all about? Chronicling it out into the empty space when there’s just nowhere else to turn to. Life gets unexpectedly lonely, when it really shouldn’t be. But when people keep to themselves, you just can’t run away from it.

On a side note, this gaming addiction that I’m on stops me from thinking about the issues that I’m facing. I guess I’m still a kid inside. Heh.)

Reservist wasn’t so bad~

How do you say goodbye to 80 men?

Aaaaand so it was time for the journey of my camp life to end (Note, only camp life cos the meetings have yet to get started with) on a rather unexpectedly sweet note.

I completed my in-camp national service prettier than I could have imagined, where if it was a cake it’d be a blueberry cake glazed with M&Ms bits on the side, aligned with strawberry cream at the top’s edges, with a generous rain of chocolate flakes and vanilla icings for a canopy. At the center of it all, there’ll be this crispily roasted almond nut, a rather large, chunky, fulfilling almond nut that you’d probably never find anywhere else.

Like a piece of cake, I gobbled down the experience greedily, where the only regret I had, where if I had any it was to be the only one, was to have to go through the closing address for my unit. Why must there be goodbyes? As much as I know how inevitable they are, I hate goodbyes.

I have been extremely privileged to be given the honor of leading my unit and I couldn’t help but feel accomplished at the same time, after all the journey that we’ve went through and all the sweat and the hahahas that we’ve shared together. If this was a movie, this blogpost would come complete with a picture slideshow and Coldplay’s Clocks playing in the background.

Anyway, a few incidents enlightened me, where I realised where I’m placed at in their eyes and yes despite being their commander by post and rank, they’ve been rather kind to allow me the opportunity to earn that respect and giving me the trust to lead them generously. There’s really nothing more that I could have asked for than their cooperation and attention, which I’ve received in abundance, so to FK5A, thank you.

I’m glad that they’ve gotten this knack of listening intently everytime that I’m briefing and just let me tell you how worryingly — and beautiful at the same time — it can be when you have over 80 pair of eyes, intently awaiting your next words, ready to absorb the soup of letters that comes out and when you should pause for a moment, the words are going to be pulled out of you instead.

This is what I love about my unit, that they are proactive enough to ask for more information, and even debate about them. You see, I’m not the best public speaker ever and it’s certainly not easy to maintain nerves, so I dare say that they’ve made my job easier.

I could go on and on praising and commenting more occasions but I’ll probably save these thoughts and experiences of training to myself and pretend that I’m succumbing to a writer’s block.

So once again to Fk5A, thank you.

Haha, rereading this blogpost, I realise how ‘serious’ I got about my role, but it’s all good and I’m glad that I went through it.

Delectable!

Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ 3D movie slated for worldwide release on October 28th

Michael Jackson is back1! No, not from the grave kind but some judge over in US have already given the green light for a movie release, about the comeback show that never was. Mark your calendars hombre and that is October 28th, 2009. Now I’ll be eagerly anticipating this one.

So I’m already into a few days of my Reservist tour of duty and work has been calling me up incessantly. It’s a little annoying when you’ve just returned home from duty at 5pm, trying to catch 40 winks and work’s calling you 5, 6, maybe 7 times and spoils the nap, and you’ve barely even began dreaming, let alone even ‘feel’ that power nap take place but forced to stay up with a headache instead.

It’s even more annoying when you reach office at 8pm only for your colleague to manage to overcome the initial problem which was supposedly un-overcome-able and required your immediate presence! That’s it lah, this frust-mostat inside me is almost reaching critical point, and with that I suppose that this is the post where if my life takes an unexpected turn of events (for the better presumably), it will somehow remind me of that derilious decision I was forced to make?

*calms down* (… and for the records, I calm down and pacify easily. Perhaps too easy??? )

Thankfully, Mustafa Ctr was nearby and I managed to divert my frustrations into shopping for the cheapest pair of socks, boxers/briefs and singlets in preparation for my in-camp training. Almost bought a jersey but thankfully I resisted the urge, amidst all the ‘excitable’ looking items on display.

Oh, have you been to Mustafa Ctr? At first I thought that it was just a glorified mamak provision shop, but after a few visits there I am convinced that it’s not just a glorified mamak provision shop, but a gigantic, humoungous, everything-you-can-find glorified kind of  a mamak shop! There’s so many things that even items that costs $79 or even more get strewn all around the shelves as if they’re $7.90 insstead — and somehow, there’s this comforting ambience that goes within these shelves, like it’s such a friendly or down-to-earth super-department store or should I say, the godzilla of mamak shop?

Heh, I coined that term after most mamak food stalls sells their drinks after legendary creatures.

Come to think of it, why do they even use legendary creatures like dinosaurs and godzilla? Why can’t they just use a term like ‘upsize’ or ‘upgrade’?

Anyway, about the Michael Jackson movie.. I have a tingling sensation that it’s gonna be the godzilla of all movies. I can’t help but wonder what with all the posthumous attention that the late artist has received, will this be another record breaking event?

You know, it’s gotta be, because… this is it1!

By the way, this has to be the longest post title I’ve ever had. Wow.
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1Sweet. Here’s the link: Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ 3D movie slated for worldwide release on October 28th!