Do you love your job?
Mar 15, 2011 Me, Myself & I
She asked me this, though I wish it wasn’t of my job, but nevertheless my consequential thoughts were — No, I don’t love, per se, my job, but I do love it.
Huh?
Quickly I thought that it was strange and confusing of me to react so, but thinking back about it, I think that there’s a little bit of truth in there as well.
I knew why she’d posed the question, cos I was continuously devoting my precious time at the office daily, and yes that includes saturdays and sundays, and in the wee hours of the days as well.
A majority of my friends, and family as well, are clueless as to why I spend so much time at work, and give so much of myself to work.
Honestly, I cannot pinpoint to any particular one answer, but there are a number of substantial reasons as to why my commitment is as such.
First, let’s begin to assume that I am always trying to be the best professional that I can be — note that I’m not trying to be the best professional out there, but just whatever it is that I can be.
Being professional means carrying out the duties of my job professionally, which leads me to working efficiently, cohesively and productively — or what I’d like to term it as the ECP professional.
No, it’s not the East Coast Parkway professional, even though I travel towards that expressway nearly everyday when I commute to work.
Secondly, let’s say that this job or work that I do, is something that I’m really good at — so why drop what you’re really good at for something else?
This means that I hardly face any problems with my work processes, where the best challenges that I regularly face are the ones that arises from managing teamwork and customer expectations, which is really beyond my control so I don’t quite lose sleep by this concern.
I do what I can, and what I can’t, I’ll do my best to work around it or work without it,
Thirdly, let’s roughly imagine that you have a little darling baby born into this world, where it is helpless if you simply leave it to grow and fend for itself.
IF it’s your baby, wouldn’t you do anything and everything that you can to ensure its well-being?
With this analogy in mind, my job, or work, is quite literally my baby here, and I know just how vital it is to exhaust yourself as much as you can during its malleable baby years.
I’ve had the rare pleasure of watching it in it glow in its embryonic stage, tender to it’s natal and infancy stage, and now joyously running along in it’s toddler stage.
Seriously, how many of us have the opportunity to say that the company they work with have been shaped from scratch with their bare hands or groomed with love and ecstasy?
From the cleaning of smelly, disgusting diapers to the first time that you watch your baby make its first step, I can vouch first hand that it’s somewhat the same analogy that I can apply to my company here.
Thusly there is this deep sense of connection that I have with this company of mine, where, and if I may add so in Navi language, some calls it tsa’haylu, or the bond.
Founded by 3 clueless but hopeful guys in mid 2007, with a combined total of 0 hours of entrepreneurial experience, we brought this ‘baby’ of ours into this world with fears of failures, low expectations and much uncertainty.
Thankfully, with much sweat and tears, literally, it’s now grown into a ramshackled group of 15 oddballs of raucous, hard-knitted personnel.
Sure there were lots of fears initially but if there’s one thing that contributed to our growth, I’d say that it’s our inability to succumb to our fears.
Now, after all these outpouring of mine, wouldn’t you say that it’s love that I have for this job of mine?
Perhaps, casually and where I was slightly distracted, I’d honestly and outrightly say that I do love my job, if only because I don’t hate nor only merely like it.
However, given the time to put some thoughts into it, strangely enough, I can’t admit that I love it as much as how I love my family, my football and my passions (gaming/music/movies/etc~).
There are just stuffs which are almost always more important than work, imho.
But why do I spend so much time at work?
Commited, devoted and passionate, yes I am, but love, well…. I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?
Or maybe I’m just waiting for something, somewhere, or someone to spend my time with?
So… do you love your job?
Love at first viewing, is indeed possible, and lasts forever too — The bond!
Dec 30, 2010 Me, Myself & I
Exactly 12 months ago, I fell in love, not just any kind of love but one that was deep, emotional and sort of entrenched kind of love.
It was our first date at the cinema, and I remember clearly that it was a cool Sunday morning at Lot 1, where I nervously donned the black rimmed, polarised glasses and took my seat, preparing for the inevitable connection.
I’ve heard what people have said and how they’ve reacted, but I had to be sure and witness it for myself.
Moments before it was revealed, everyone grew silent and as their attention glued, the lights dimmed and every sensuous perception of the body heightened.
A faint half-scream-half-warcry cracks the moment before a hectic beating of drums (or was it my own heartbeat?) and I was teleported into a lustful world, unlike any other that I’ve ever experienced.
That’s right folks, I fell, deeply, in love that day — It was my first date with Avatar, the movie.
Pathetic eh? I know. Read on. :p
So it spawned this ‘probably the longest Avatar movie review of all time‘ post and also kickstarted my evidently geeky and inexplicable passion for this virtual Pandoran world, where mountains of rocks float and gigantic trees have voices.
So how could I not relive that intimacy without another viewing of the movie, in HD no less and in it’s anniversary right?
If at this point of time, you’re thinking “Gee, this geek sure has some love issues — and with a movie?? Like Wtf???” — but that’s probably normal of you, because I guess I’m just abnormal enough to admit that I do oblige in indulging into a fantasy world sometimes, and where even close pals and normal people find that amusing (or maybe just plain silly and childish), well I sure don’t mind being silly and childish.
Relived those 3 hours of awe I did, but this time around, the awesomeness level wasn’t as skyrocketing as they used to, but that’s not surprising considering the insane amount of times that I’ve viewed it right?
Insane indeed, but to me, it’s all about injecting a little bit of fun and joy into an otherwise mundanely routined world of sleep, eat, work, eat, live, where a shortened acronym of those words would be S.E.W.E.L, and I’d implore you to ask your Malay friends what S.E.W.E.L is (Try saying that acronym as if it’s one full word..).
Nevertheless I’m nowhere near any thoughts of what a boring and unexcitable movie it has become, like how some movies are when you try to view them for the 28th time, but I doubt that there’s much movie that’ll even get viewed half that many times within your lifetime.
I still love the whole effing movie, and I’m still helpless and fruitless when it comes to finding faults with it.
As much as I try to dissect and infiltrate every plotline and turn over every bioluminescent leaves, I simply just can’t find any, but I guess love is indeed blind?
Love is blind, but love is like oxygen, a many spledored thing that lifts us up where we belong, and all that we need is love! (In case you didn’t notice, I just altered a line/quote off Moulin Rouge~ See what I did there?)
In case anyone asked, where though I know you didn’t ask, thusly I mentioned ‘in case’, I was tired, and exhausted, and weary, and felt a little overwhelmed, and somehow I was in need of a good pick-me-up tonight.
So I turned to Avatar, my long lost love, and I wasn’t disappointed.
Love do last forever and indeed it’s not that hard to go back to something that you once love and lost before.
Ahh.. the powers of the bond, or should I say Tsa’Haylu?
Unintended Hiatus – Part II
Nov 13, 2010 Me, Myself & I
It’s not that I’ve lost the desire to blog again, but everytime I whip out Marsedit and a new post, I end up deleting the draft within half an hour.
Then I slip back into my ‘gaming-addict’ mode, and indulge in a few rounds of DOTA, Minecraft or start watching Ugly Betty and The Big Bang Theory all over again.
I guess I’ve yet to grow up if growing up is all about dealing with the issues that you face in life, and there are issues that I face in life that I’ve yet to face up to, like relationships, for example.
Relationships are simple, but unfortunately people aren’t.
There are those whom I’ve crossed paths with that claim to be disillusioned with love (and relationships) and losing faith in it, but why should you lose faith in love and all its glory when it’s really people that’s wrecking everything?
Me? I’ll always believed in that elusive and shy thingy called love and as such, I’ll never turn away from a fresh start.
I’m pious when it comes to second chances, and the notion that people can change for the better, because I’ve seen how people can change when you give them a reason to.
Anyway, about this hiatus, let’s start with the most recent event and that is my NS Reservist training with my unit, and it sure feels damn good to have a break from the chaos that is work and to meet up with old, familiar faces.
I love my unit, I really do, and I think I’m blessed with such a cohesive bunch of men from all walks of life, and indeed it’s been a privilege to serve my time with them.
Strangely I don’t need any forcing to make myself sleep before 10pm during my NS period, because as soon as I reach home from camp, which is about 8-9pm, I immediately lay down on my bed and the next thing I know, it’s 5.30am and it’s time to get ready for camp again.
For 4 and a half days, life was so, and yesterday I was back at the office, and I realised that the company can, and doing it well too, cope without me around — and this is definitely a great piece of news for me!
It means I can finally go on that long awaited sabbatical next year, which when you think about it, is my 7th year of plundering along in this industry.
I have longed for a chance to diverse myself into another industry and last year, when I thought that I’ve found one, events unfolded itself this year to wreck all my plans and resources and, like a beached whale, I’m left stranded and seemingly helpless.
Like I said earlier, relationships are simple, but people aren’t and unfortunately for me I fall hopelessly in love ever so easily.
And because I keep my faith that love is possible and that in its essence it’s a beautiful thing to give and share, I trip up ever so often as I allow myself to dive in easily, and maybe hastily as well.
Like my passion for gaming, soccer, studying, working and everything that I do, I tend to dive right in and try to be as good and as effective as I can, but I’ve learned that not everyone plays it the way I do.
Some like to take it slow, and some are just shy. *winks*
No matter how similar and compatible two people can be, there’s always a black swan lurking, and until both parties are able to embrace one another, the black swan lurks quietly.
The trouble with being a simple person, is that you think that everyone else is simple too.
And then when you get your heart broken again, and again, and again, you know that you’re still that good and simple person, but you learn to lookout for yourself a little bit more and you learn to make your heart a little bit colder.
Like a tattoo that’s never easily erased, relationship scars, but it’s definitely worth every little precious moments spent with, the ones whoose path you’re blessed to have walked on and been a part of.
And then sometimes, you just know that you can’t stay on that path any longer.
With a heavy, fragmented and tourniqueted heart, I go.
I can’t waste time.. So give it a moment.. I realize nothing’s broken..
No need to worry about everything I’ve done.. Live every second like it was my last one..
Tattoo by Jordin Sparks
(Damn emo blog has been lately lah, but I guess that’s a part of what blogging’s all about? Chronicling it out into the empty space when there’s just nowhere else to turn to. Life gets unexpectedly lonely, when it really shouldn’t be. But when people keep to themselves, you just can’t run away from it.
On a side note, this gaming addiction that I’m on stops me from thinking about the issues that I’m facing. I guess I’m still a kid inside. Heh.)
Tags: Heart, Hiatus, Jordin Sparks, Love, Moving On, NS, Relationships, Reservist, Tattoo
Unintended Hiatus – Part I
Nov 2, 2010 Me, Myself & I
An unintended hiatus that I’m back from, but it’s really just me unable to find words.
Funny how you keep writing all these years and yet words slip like a worn out, old shoe on a rainy day.
You just can’t run with ‘em.
Thankfully there are songs that says it all, like Sum 41′s Pieces:
I tried to be perfect, but it just wasn’t worth it.. nothing could ever be so wrong.
It never gets easy.. I guess I knew that all along.
(More lyrics - Listen to MP3)
And you’ve sincerely tried.
And you’ve sincerely tried.
And for when you know you’ve sincerely tried and gotten misunderstood, then there’s Marinas Trench’s Say Anything, live version. Raw emotions.
I never took you for a trip but sometimes.. I don’t know what you want.
I can take it if you need to take this.. out on someone.
(More lyrics - Listen to MP3)
And you breathe again.
And you breathe again.
And for when it hurts you to stay and kills you to leave, there’s Sara Bareilles’ Breathe Again, which makes me sober all over.
Still I’m searching for something.. Out of breathe I am left hoping someday.
I’ll breathe again.. I’ll breathe again.
(More lyrics — Listen to MP3)
No pain no gain huh?
Tags: Breathe Again, Live, Love, Marianas Trench, MTV, Music, Pieces, Sara Bareilles, Say Anything, Sum 41
All good things come to an end, but pecan pies last forever.
Oct 7, 2010 Overheard
I met my first love back when I was working in a bakery shop, juggling freshman year, footballing commitments and my newfound addiction to gaming.
Though I’m no longer a freshman, I’m still committed to my football and the gaming addiction continues, but most importantly: my first love has always remained.
The love for Pecan Cinnamon Rolls, or Pecan Rolls.
Just reminiscing it, brings back memories of that sweetly burnt wafts as you open the oven doors to fetch the rolls of perfectly risen Pecan Cinnamon pastries.
The crunchy texture and crispy outer layers, fresh and hot from the oven is the universe’s only Wonder Of The World to any tastebuds — unless of course you’re sickly allergic to nuts, of which in that case, too bad.
>.<
I used to work in a bakery shoppe (St Cinnamon) and the best tasting, fastest moving and most expensive item on the menulist has always been Pecan Roll, with it’s excessively juicy and sweet smelling goodness all rolled into one succulent, opulent and permanent joy.
Yummy, and I was always the one who made it known to everyone that the Pecan Roll is mine at the end of the day, in case there’s any leftover when we close shop.
There never was any leftover, and I’d be left yearning for just one more bite.
And I’m still yearning all these while, as the pastry company has since folded and I’ve yet to meet it’s match among the many banquet spreads I’ve been to.
However if you’re like me, and feels the need to heed the yearning, The Pioneer Woman has a great recipe for you (or your loved ones) to succumb to.
Check out her Pecan Pie recipe from her blog (oh and she’s an excellent story-teller-cum-photographer as well!).
A Pecan Pie may not be a replacement for my Pecan Rolls, but I’ll have to accept it and move on eh?
I guess all good things, especially Pecan Rolls, do come to an end huh?
Now, if only I knew how to half bake food without reinventing the ways fire can be ignited and spread uncontrollably within a kitchen.
Tags: Cinnamon, Love, Memory, Pastries, Pecan, Pie, Recipe, Rolls
A Poor Man’s Story: Lies of a Mother.
Sep 22, 2010 Overheard
This story begins when I was a child. I was born poor. Often we hadn’t enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say “Eat this rice, Son! I’m not hungry.”
This was Mother’s First Lie.
As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our house. She hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a little bit more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish, she would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten. My heart was touched and I gave her the other fish on my chopstick but she immediately refused it and said, “Eat this fish, Son! I don’t really like fish.”
This was Mother’s Second Lie.
Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to bring home some used matchboxes, which she filled with fresh matchsticks. This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said, “Mother, go to sleep. It’s late. You can continue working tomorrow morning.” Mother smiled and said, “Go to sleep, Son! I’m not tired.”
This was Mother’s Third Lie.
When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the bell rang, I ran to meet her. Mother embraced me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as strong as my Mother’s love. Seeing Mother covered with perspiration, I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said, “Drink, Son! I’m not thirsty!”.
This was Mother’s Fourth Lie.
After Father’s death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent. She held on to her former job. She had to fund our needs alone. Our family’s life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing our family’s condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near our house came to help us solve our problems big and small. Our neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often advised my mother to marry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying, “I don’t need love.”
This was Mother’s Fifth Lie.
After I had finished my studies and gotten a job, it was time for my old Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morning just to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said, “I have enough money.”
That was Mother’s Sixth Lie.
I continued my part-time studies for my Master’s Degree. Funded by the American Corporation for which I worked. I succeeded in my studies. With a big jump in my salary, I decided to bring Mother to enjoy life in America but Mother didn’t want to bother her son. She said, “I’m not used to high living.”
That was Mother’s Seventh Lie.
In her dotage, Mother was attacked by cancer and had to be hospitalized. Now living far across the ocean, I went home to visit Mother who was bedridden. In one of the minor bedside operation, I saw her tears and heard her cries. After, Mother tried to smile but I was heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said, “Don’t cry, son! I’m not in pain.”
That was Mother’s Eighth Lie.
And then she passsed on.
M – O – T – H – E – R
“M” is for the MILLION things she gave me without asking for anything,
“O” for being the ONLY one who’s always there,
“T” is for the TEARS she shed to save me,
“H” is for her HEART of gold,
“E” is for her EYES with love-light shining in them,
“R” is for being the number one REASON that I am thankful for waking every morning.
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -
And I’m eternally thankful.
It’s not easy for a grown man to well up when he reads a passage of writing but sometimes, like when he reads the passage above, he does betray a tear or two.
The passage above, I may have taken off an email (or was it a forum posting that I chanced upon somewhere) and edited a little, but the message it presents is true and genuine, which is comfortably close to my heart.
MOTHER, a word that means the world to me. For those of you who are lucky to be still blessed with your Mom’s presence on Earth, this story is beautiful. For those who aren’t so blessed, this is even more beautiful, and it makes you ever so grateful that your life has been presented with the most beautiful present ever.
Without that present, I feel under-privileged, under-appreciated, like everything that I could ever have in this world would never really mean anything anymore, and like every dollars earned and accumulated is just another metric in the system?
Without that present, I feel the way that the child in the story was born — Poor, robbed of love.
I Need..
Jul 25, 2010 Me, Myself & I
I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep. I could turn myself in but I can’t sleep.
5.55am.
The mind wanders, thoughts dissipate and I find myself calculating stuffs that shouldn’t be calculated at 5-6am in the morning, like would it be a good thing if I started an online service where you pay for an item to be sent your way (or another place) and you don’t know what it’s gonna be? These guys beat me to it and I’ve been admiring them since 2 years ago and perhaps this shows that there is a wacky market audience for it?
Well I enjoy drawing, doodling and coloring stuffs and maybe I could do that and plaster them onto EZ-Link stickers for the mass like what I’m currently doing with Stick Anything Lah? (Ahaa, blatant promo here! =P )
Strangely there’s 24hours per day but I just don’t seem to have the luxury of a 2-3 hours stretch that I can spend on exhausting myself creatively, unless I stay awake like today, and that sucks, and I really need to exhaust myself creatively — otherwise all these pent up thoughts and stuffs stays pent up, slowly building itself, gradually turning cancerous. Well, rhetorically speaking of course.
6.15am.
I wanna sleep, but gee, what can you do to sleep huh? I need rest. I don’t know which one’s worse — that I’m neither wide awake or the fact that I’m half drowsy and half suffering the joyous torture of playing soccer with the boys at 1am in the morning.
And they even had the cheek to extend the session till 3am, where naturally I obliged and played along, as if I could knock myself out and sleep till late afternoon. Well I could but that means I’ll be ‘shooting paper aeroplanes’, or ‘bubble bubble’, or ‘NATO-ing’ because…
6.25am.
.. I’ve soccer again in exactly 2 and a half hours later, over at Clementi with the ramshackled bunch of white-and-blue-collared football enthusiasts.
Hmmm.. I’ve no idea what collar I am, cos my work clothes hasn’t a proper collar, but rather a turtle-neck like, zip-collar. Ahh, zip-collared, that’s what I am!
Whatever that means right?
6.30am
I. Need. Sleep Ipad Zip-Collars Love.
The forbidden fruits, or Lovemarks — I couldn’t resist the iPhone.
It’s certified, I’m a full fledged Apple fanboy these days as I failed to curb the enthusiasm of owning its product, especially the iPhone, which have turned out to be a revelation indeed.
But first, a quick point out on how Apple’s products have never ever changed, not applicable to cosmetics and applications of its products, but in terms of usability design over the years.
It is this very deeply intricated grasp of what makes a good design truly makes it stand out as one of the greatest love brands in the world, in this era, of which hasn’t been an accident either.
Yes, a love brand, or a lovemark, and I’m not talking about hickies.
Is it too much to have to call its products, the forbidden fruits?
Certainly not.
Anyway, I knew the iPhone is truly an excellent toy, yes I referred to it as a toy back then, and I wasn’t that interested in getting myself one of these toys, simply for the sake of having it.
I’d rather get something that’s functional, practical, works-as-its-meant-to and, especially so, fuss-free plus easy maintenance.
Getting the Macbook Pro was a no-brainer and despite its immense pricetag, which was really hard for me to swallow, it was a pill I swallowed nonetheless and I’m glad I coughed up that little bit more.
In return, the MBP proved to be an astounding workhorse that I simply couldn’t push to its limit any more than I could, say, for a Dell or Asus laptop.
Website development, surfing the net, FA creations, blogging, entertainment, office productivity, photo management and even something as simple as file management, have been one helluva blast, an experience which I doubt the Dell or Asus could have ever emulated.
Oh, no more viruses and spywares to worry about as well.
Where 99% of forbidden fruits are overrated, Apple and its products, make up the 1% that overwhelms, overperforms and overachieves.
The iPhone has since ceased to appear a toy to me. It is a serious tool and you better believe it.
It came to me by chance to me, when the M1 sales personnel slow-talked me into upgrading my phone plans, and it has usurped its way as, not one of the best phones I’ve had to experience, but THE best phone I’ve had.
SMSes don’t feel like SMSes anymore — it’s now chatting or conversations, and it’s become personalised and deeply, and easily, manageable.
The iPhone is also an entertainment outlet (youtube and videos, ipod, photos, camera, thousands of games), an informational outlet (safari, maps, weather, clock) and a personal management inlet (calendar, notes, contacts, voicemail, sms) as well.
Though I may seem to be listing its basic features here, where almost every other smart phones seem to possess, but that’s where the similarities end.
Apple’s designs make it stand out from the rat race, and it encapsulates the gist of what a good design should be — functional, aestheticised and just damn fun.
Like the forbidden fruit, they (Apple’ products) appear tempting, lustful and one that you simply have to see and use to believe.
The ease of use that comes with Apple’s products isn’t purely coincidental, but a well researched and executed process, and it’s turned out to be a model that almost every other company have been scrambling to emulate.
That’s what lovebrands or lovemarks do, they inspire through design and make lives easier and, in a way, fun, usable and productive.
Sadly, most companies are in a race to create a product, where no doubt it’s fun, that takes a turn for the worse in usability, and then sales take a decline.
They should have focused in creating products in the mould of the forbidden fruits, which sell themselves really.
Companies can save a lot this way right?
Less ads, less marketing, less promotion and I mean less, not zero, although in Apple’s case, it does seem to be non-existent.
Like seriously, when was the last time you saw an advertisement poster or banner for Apple’s products hanging along walkways, perched on railings or plastered onto walls?
5 minutes, think about it, so when was the last time you saw one?
Fruits for thoughts?
The Pursuit Of Happiness — Is It Worth It?
Mar 25, 2010 Me, Myself & I
I am 28 years old. I have been for a good few months now.
Is it normal that everyday one thinks of ways to make money, online and offline, if only to be able to reach out to more people and be of value to more people.
Sure, striking it rich may sound really good, but that choice words make it sound as if one is seriously hoping for a miracle lottery ticket, just so one can visit the far off countries and not work for years and live off the lottery ticket.
I hope that I can strike it rich, but no I don’t go out and buy lottery tickets or toto or 4D, but no not those means, because having played poker lately, I learned that luck evens out, and in the long run, you’re going to lose more money simply by punting — unless you’re skillfully lucky, but there’s not a lot of people who are like that.
I hope that I can strike it rich so that I can make life better, not just for me but for my family, my friends, my community, for being rich and enjoying the riches alone, well you’re really just alone aren’t ya?
What’s good, or fun in being filthy rich and you fear in sharing the wealth?
No, I’m not saying that one should work hard and be an instant philanthropist unconditionally, because believe it or not, there are people out there who will not think twice in living off your riches.
There are people out there who simply will not fend for themselves becauase they know there are saints looking after them, and not because they are disabled or anything.
These leeches are the ones that I truly, madly, deeply, have zero affinity with.
And then there are people who you know that have been working so hard for almost all their lives, and yet with little too show for either: 1) they’re education level were limited thus opportunities weren’t realised, 2) they’re leeched of their hard work and earnings, 3) they have yet to meet that one opportunity that could transform their lives.
Living with them, I know for myself how hard they work, and how much they have had to sacrifice just so that they can provide a decent level of living for their families.
In my own eyes, husbands and wives spent more time at work, than at home, all in the name of feeding a family.
In my own eyes, I could see what working hard and hard work really meant.
And now that I am at a level where I can assist in bits and pieces, I feel that they are deserving of my assistance, even though others who’ve been glancing through the window may cut a doubtful figure.
You see, I took the liberty of doing up an excel sheet of my income and expenses and it astonished me that without my realising, I’ve been giving away quite a chunk of my paycheck — and no, I certainly don’t regret sharing any of it away.
I read somewhere about how one should really be thrifty with their money, by saving 10% of their salary in a special ‘Don’t touch me’ account, donate 10% towards charity, and then having the liberty of the 80% at your own mercy.
I realised that I’ve been sharing nearly 35-40% of my paycheck towards my family, and now that I’m finding myself in a tight situation (no thanks to a slow pick-up in business this year).
Sometimes I wonder if I’m vandalising my own ticket to a higher level by not having the extra loose change to invest elsewhere, and by investing I don’t mean trust funds or stocks but rather in areas pertaining to self development, maintenance, savings, career, family and such~
It’s a double edged sword, but one that I carry with great pride and satisfaction nevertheless.
Once in a while I do tell myself that I could have gotten that PS3 or PSP, or receive a bike upgrade, but in the long run, and truly, madly, deeply deep down inside, I know that nothing, yes nothing can buy what a loving family is able to give.
But I do aim to be rich (oh everyone does), but not just in the currency of dollars and signs, and certainly not via a punter’s ticket.
In the movie ‘The Pursuit Of Happiness’, Christopher Anderson, played by Will Smith, quoted “I met my father for the first time when I was 28 years old. I made up my mind that when I had children, my children were going to know who their father was.”
Tonight, I wonder, what will my children think of me when they turn 28?
Interestingly, towards the end, the movie also quoted “That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what.”
*Wishful Thoughts*
Tags: Expense, Family, Happiness, Income, Love, Pursuit, Rich
Mawe Ts’mutkan’ya
Feb 9, 2010 Me, Myself & I
Everything is backwards now.
The days are beginning to blur and it’s like I don’t know who I am anymore.
Like out there is the real world, and in here, in this moment, in this room is the dream.
All I wanted was to find something that’s worth fighting for.
I can do this.
I was born to do this.
I guess I better go now, I don’t want to be late.
It’s my birthday after all.
Mawe Tsmutkan’ya.
Everything is backwards now.
The days are beginning to blur and it’s like I don’t know who I am anymore.
Like out there is the real world, and in here, in this moment, in this room is the dream.
All I wanted was to find something that’s worth fighting for.
I can do this.
I was born to do this.
I guess I better go now, I don’t want to be late.
It’s my birthday after all.
Mawe Tsmutkan’ya.
It’s interesting how a movie could move anyone at all, not just on the surface, but as a person and as a character. Avatar came out and hit me like a lump of unobtanium, lifting me to heights I’ve never experienced before, in anticipation of my birthday month, that was last January. It’s February and every viewing of the movie is just as captivating as the first. Friends and family don’t get it, like how we don’t get why girls go head over heels with prancing flower boys, like how they don’t get it why football fans hate rival fans so much, and like why men advancing towards their 40s prefer to spend time playing golf. Avatar’s message to me is simple, to find something to fight for. It’s a symbol of living our life, away from routine, away from comfort zones and away from oppressions and such.
Do you have something worth fighting for? If yes, then good for you. I’m still searching for one. I lost mine, 8 years ago, on my birthday. Where most celebrate on reaching 21, circumstances presented a funeral procession. God loved her more, and I had to learn to let go. It hurts when she left, but the agony I faced is mere fractions of her daily visits on the thresholds of pain. What is more painful than seeing the one you’ve ever loved writhing? Anyway, just like that, 8 years have gone, and indeed everything is a blur.
There’s a strange welcoming calmness today, even though I’m made to twist and turn in bed, irregular bowel movements in the wee hours of the morning, and vomitted just hours ago. There really isn’t any point in living life on routine, it’s an adventure that’s waiting to be discovered, though I’m filled with great sadness that I’m bound, much like a paraplegic, to this routine I’m in. I call it, work. In reality, there may be no ‘Avatars’ to escape with or flying Great Banshees to ride, but before my energy is used up, I know that there’s a whole lot more that needs to be done.
No more procrastination, and I’m not going to bother about reading these back and editing my words. It’s all get go for now. So first, to start paying the bills. =)
Tags: Avatar, Confessions at 28, Love, Work
