A few months back i set myself a targeted deadline to ‘release’ myself from this self-imposed commitment known as work.
I was meandering towards the end of my NS reservist period and yes, I wanted to quit.
Really badly too, but now that December looms on the horizon, I must say that things aren’t looking that bad after all. Give it some time, add a dash of positivity, spicing it up with loads of enthusiasm and things will work out in the end.
If any instigators for the resignatory mood to kick in were to stand up and take the blame, it had to be cashflow, or the lack of it.
Not for a very long time did I experience such a shortage of $$$ that I started to feel the pinch within my pockets and wallets. I even had to dig into my sacred cash reserves to buy myself 1 month of sustainability — and thankfully I had that little bit of cash reserves, otherwise I’d be out busking on the streets with my broken down guitar and frail voice serenading the ignorant Orchard crowd. Come to think about it, I think I would rather just sell tissues at Sungei road, the ROI would certainly be much more than the time wasted in serenading that particular crowd.
I mean how many of us have been to the place where Buskers busk and literally walk right through them? [Singaporeans] We’re a bunch of pathetic appreciators of arts right? I guess it all stems down to the way our parents educate us when we were young, like not talking to or accepting sweets from strangers, and sitting quietly and to never run around when the parents are waiting in queue. This blanket disregard for others contribute somewhat to the ‘play it safe’ mentality that most Singaporeans grow up with.
You need an example?
You see a red button and a green button on a device, and there’s no indication what either one does. Do you press either one or don’t even bother at all? Or do you frantically search for a book of instruction, trying to find out further about the device.
Since young we are programmed to ‘play it safe’ and as we grow and enter corporate worlds, we fashion our thoughts, our habits and our actions along with it.
In harbouring thoughts of quitting, I had actually planned to drastically throw away the ‘play it safe’ mentality by going down the route of the unpredictable, that is by becoming a full time internet marketer, and hedging my future on the lines of an online product.
A what? Nevermind that, because in the end I ‘played it safe’ by deciding to stick it out with the company for longer, but before I get labeled as a coward, I’d like to mention that this company I’m in is like my very own little baby, which I’ve nurtured since its birth right up till it has begun learning to sit up and take its first few baby steps.
This is the company that me and 2 others set up painstakingly and backbreakingly, sacrificing and trudging along its first 2 years with complete dedication and passion. No doubt it has grown really big and fat for a baby, but it’s still a baby in my eyes. It’s barely even learned to walk, so how could I put it all down and just leave?
I simply couldn’t bear to abandon this ‘baby’ of mine just like that. It could barely walk without me holding its hands and I couldn’t walk away knowing that I’ve yet to teach how its like to be running with the winds across your face. I suppose that there is still a bit more work to be done before I can finally say that my time is up and that it’s ripe for me to take my unconditional leave.
So yes, I played it safe but I also wasn’t about to throw away all the ventures and interesting stuffs that I’ve built (with thanks to Bangau, a real buddy that’s been hammering it away together — check out his website: services4you.wordpress.com and be polite, go visit!) in the build up to the saga of me wanting to quit.
I have learnt a lot throughout the entire draining process of this difficult decision. For one, it’s never easy to quit anything. I have as much love for quitters as I have for vegetables (which isn’t much really), because ALL quitters never win and they grow stale, right? Wrong! Some quitters do win — like smokers who quit are very commendable indeed. Hah! Gotcha!
Okay, okay, so in any case if it such that you have that immense explosive courage within you to quit (whatever it is that you want to quit), then good luck to you.
Here’s to wishing you well in your endeavours.
And um, enjoy this song by Owl City that’s playing on my blog at the moment. Somehow it clicks with the current mood. Nice — I feel like a DJ already.