When you’ve tried to talk. To reason. To explain. To inquisition. To understand. To know. To care. To love. To give. To commit. To devote.
At some point you will realise that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop.
Leave them alone.
It’s not like you’re giving up, and it’s not that you shouldn’t try.
It’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation.
What is truly yours will eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.
Walk away knowing that you’ve tried, because sometimes the best thing that you can do is to let them go.
No matter how much your heart wants to stay, no matter how painful it’s going to get, and no matter how easy it is to slip back into each other.
Be strong. Do what’s best for others. Yet again.
I rarely celebrate my birthdays and don’t expectantly look forward nor really revel to it, except for my best celebrated day ever when Iris whisked me in a whirlwind back in the memorable and lovable Jan 2012! Of Orchard road! Of Sentosa! & Of Songs of the Sea! But times have lapsed, and though I never imagined it to be like this, I respect her decisions. I desperately needed us to stay as we were, but if it’s God’s will, then it’s God’s will. Your happiness is all that matters to me.
Even if the price was mine.
I suppose I’ve always been that bigger man, in a lot of situations — but not in the grandiose kind, but the generally speaking kind. The kind that a daily situation usually demands of, such as the calling for a leadership figure to rise to the occasion. Whether it’s at the office, at home, or in a neutral event, I’ve always been looked upon to be that level-headed and thinking fella that will always provide the listening ear, the shoulder to cry on and magically come up with the decisions and everyone will feel better. And that happens usually, that everyone feels better.
Even if the price was mine.
These burdens took its toll eventually where I realised that at most times I’ve not been taking care of the right things in a relationship — as I tend to see bigger pictures and root solutions instead of the critical tiny details and the most important thing: the heartbeat. I don’t know what God has in his plans for me, for you, or for us, but I’ll gladly gulp down these bitterest of bitterest pills just so that everyone around us can live and breathe again.
What’s in store in the future of us? Only time will tell..
So I really enjoyed my birthday session this year! Something to truly cherish, as I found out what was in store in ‘The Future of Us’ – that exhibition at Gardens By The Bay (aka ‘GBTB’)! So it was spent there instead with my doting and affable lil Sis! Well, she’s not lil anymore, but in my eyes, she still is! Can’t be too overprotective, can I?
I booked tickets (FREE!) from home for the exhibition, because firstly, I have no idea what this exhibition is all about and would like to find out, secondly, it’s free, and thirdly, I finally get to bring Sis out!
But it rained. Whilst on our journey, I had to detour by making a ‘pit-stop’ at Tiong Bahru estate, shortly after entering CTE from AYE.
We were slightly drenched, but our spirits were high flying (or maybe just me? lol), as we waited patiently at a nearby kopitiam, drinking a can of coke, for the rain to subside. In our search for a good place to wait, we passed by a number of really interesting shops, which drew our imaginations. From antiquated floral boutiques to a quaint little printing shop, the passageway made you turn your head more than once as you walked on by.
As soon as the weather sobered up, we made a mad dash through town for GBTB, and thankfully it was nearly empty, save for a few classes of secondary school students and the staff onsite. We arrived much earlier than the exhibition’s designated timeslot, so we explored the garden’s Dragonfly lake, and couldn’t help but feel it’s stagnancy and weariness. It may look like a garden, but the overall ambience felt fabricated and strangely contriteful for a ‘world-class tourist attraction’. We didn’t enter the air-conditioned dome nor climbed the ‘supertrees’ so maybe that’s why our experience of the garden was muted, at best. Sure, the flowers were pretty and the canopies were aplenty, but overall the experience fell short and je ne sais qois~
Thankfully, the Future Of Us exhibition kicked off shortly to end our much dreary afternoon, but as much as we were left delighted by the immersive dome silver-screen and fancy laser displays, the show felt like it wasn’t really meant for us working adult Singaporeans. Maybe for students and children more. The only good thing that I could take home with me out of this experience was this lengthy playground of swings, located just outside the exhibition hall as you exit it. Without needing any invitations, our inner child took over and we were soon swinging ourselves!
But of course, the best part of the day was at VivoCity when Sis insisted that she got me a little present from Typo, even though I know that she’d have to dig deep, like really really really deep into her pockets to pay for the gift that I chose, because financially it hasn’t been kind lately. And it’s so touching, and lovely, and sweet, and beautiful of her to do that for me. She’d call me the annoying and irritating brother of hers, but I know that she cares and tries to take care of me too!
So yeah, a wrench-pen! The most beautiful wrench/pen that one will ever receive.
So indeed, my birthdays have never been one that I look forward to as it’s a date that coincides with some of my greatest losses. Instead it’s a day that I reflect and chew upon as I ponder on what God has in store for me, my loved ones, my work and my friends.
Thankfully, despite the dampening rain, the dreary GBTB, and the increasingly notion that my birthday will be one not to be remembered, Sis threw a wrench into the works and reversed the day into a wonderful occasion, one that I will cherish for a very long time, because it’s up there with my best celebrated day ever!
Thank you, my dear Sis, and love ya much for spending time with this overly-pensive brother of yours. Oh, and I pray that you find your jodoh soon, because a beautiful person like you deserves a beautiful leader of the home, and also just so that you’ll stop entertaining me with these annoying requests of mine. InsyaAllah.
And what could one up my day thus far? My night of course! Especially when I returned to a pleasant surprise, seeing my baby cousin Irfan greeting me (totally unexpectedly!) and seeing the whole family dim the lights so that the burning candle on my cupcake could lit the darkened room. Like a lighthouse that guides the lost ship, this gesture reminded me that no matter what happens to you in life, there’s only one thing that matters: family.
It mattered to me that they took the trouble to get the candle burning, getting the cupcake itself, fetching my lovely cousin irfan, and most of all, to wait till I came home at just before midnight to enjoy a mini celebration with me. Loving everyone to pieces already, and I pray that our future will continue to be told with stories like tonight!
A timely reminder to me: family comes first. Their happiness is utmost.
Even if the price was mine.
Nov 6, 2015 General
Jacky and John are brothers, and if you’ve known the history of this blog’s early posts, together with me, we founded Jacky Printing in 2007.
Well it’s 2015 now and John has been steadily running his own printshop, while Jacky has been steadily restarting his own, and me?
So anyways, today is the day I met John after months of us being busy with our own setup, and it was indeed a good catch up, just like old times.
You see, John had called me to assist with his printshop’s networking setup, which I rectified gladfully after running a few tests, tweaking a few details and sprucing up the PCs and Macs — just like how I did 5.5years ago — and I did it again today because I wanted to and I kinda miss our old conversations.
So yeah, 5.5 years did flash by indeed, and what have I been doing huh, or a better question would be ‘Where am I after all these years?’
Both John and I asked the same, while I shrugged and sighed while sharing a bit of the past, present and future.
A future plan was what I told him of and indeed I’m going to be intentional about it, because just minutes ago, another John had inspired, motivated, and he advices to be living life intentionally.
This ‘other’ John is John C Maxwell, and if you’re like me, I’m sure you’ve heard of the name before but was never really aware of what he does, or who he is even.
Well, today I found out, accidentally of course, and I’m glad I had the chance to have met John C Maxwell for the first time, and I think he is arguably THE best speaker on earth right now.
How good a speaker? How about 12,000-speeches-under-his-belt-over-50-years-and-sold-25-million-books and still as humble-as-a-pie good? ** I’m not even sure if that pie figurative line is accurate or apt?
Yes he IS that good, and after watching him for the first time on youtube with his ‘5 levels of leadership’ video, I got sucked into an hour long video of his “15 Laws of Growth” video, of which he only shared 3.
That’s right, he only shared 3 out of 15 and expended 1 hour doing so, mesmerising and motivating incessantly along the way.
And if you’d know of his 5 levels of leadership, he’s got me hooked on Level 5.
He has my Respect as a leader.
Anyways, here are his 3 laws out of 15:
Be warned, you might just get motivated and start being intentional with your life.
May 9, 2014 General
This is a continuation of my previous’ How I Met Your Mother blogpost of how I’m finally going through with watching Season 9’s penultimate finale for the show’s series. Warning: it is an awesome series and wholesome finale. This post isn’t a review of the show or the episide, but just a pickings of my thoughts immediately after the end credits.
It had to be her.
Through hell and back, through sickness and sadness, through loneliness and the unknown. It had to be her.
Without trying, it comes full circle.
Even when he’s gone off course and distant charted from her, even when it took him 7 years and two kids to culminate in a Thursday marriage, and even when it was that same wife that persuaded Robin for the inevitable reunion and he works hard to fiercely love his newly wedded wife and life, it comes full circle.
Robin Sherbatsky. And the blue French horn.
That blue french horn.
This blogpost could never depict the joy the series has bestowed over the past years, and it’s 4am now.
Congrats Ted Mosby.
This is just too legend… wait for it…
I can’t believe that I’m on the verge of watching the final of the final of the final episode of the series.
A total of 9 Seasons, a total of 208 episodes and I’ve watched 206 of them — the last one, #207 & #208 being season 9’s finale.
Wow, I’ve watched nearly 400 episodes of One Piece as well, and that’s nearly double of How I Met Your Mother, but there’s just something special about this show.
Unlike Friends, unlike Roswell, unlike any other rom-com or family comedies that I’ve grown up with, I can’t really say that I’ve grown up watching this show.
It’s just been the last 2 years or so that I revisited every single episode from the pilot and it just so feels that I’m blessed to have experienced it, a show of bromance, romance, family, parenthood, childhood, workship and most of all, of friendship.
There is this overwhelming camraderieness or warmth when it comes to friendship material in this show, and of all the show I’ve known, this one takes the cake, glazes its own icing and places itself into the fridge so that you can have a slice of it at any time and it’ll be the coolest thing you’ve tasted, ever.
Ironically I hated the show the first time I watched it, years back, and I hated it without even watching the show ever — but I’m really glad that I took on a chance and made myself sit down after watching an episode which I couldn’t remember that forced me to watch the series all the way from it’s Season 1’s pilot episode.
What if I had continuously snubbed the series’ gleefulness?
But I’m glad I didn’t.
And now, it just feels a little overwhelming that I’m about to watch the mother of all finales, pun intended.
I don’t mean this post to come as an overture for the show — I’ll probably do that some time later — but rather just as a gathering of myself moments before the ultimatum unveils itself.
It’s just, unbelievable how things work and culminates itself to this moment now, because it seems surreal.
But I guess like any relationships that one bonds with, it’s just a little hard to know that the day has come for us to say our goodbyes.
And sometimes, we have to say our goodbyes.
How I Met Your Mother, Season 9, Episode 23 & 24, well bring it on.
You want some? Click below. ; )
Oct 11, 2010 General
Don’t we all lament on the predicaments, or curveballs, that life throws our way?
Always, only two things will result from this.
1) They choose to add colourful verbal adjectives to match their predicaments and continuously rack up the ‘bad luck’..
2) They choose to work real hard to change their fortunes, come what may.
Out of 10 persons that I know, perhaps as many as 1 person chose to change their own fortunes.
To their credit, they’re always happier, not just with themselves, but also with their surrounding environment and situation.
It’s not that hard to recognise them, cos in fact, you’re naturally drawn to them.
These are the ones who accept any inadequacies that they have, and work on their strengths and live life knowing how lucky they are to be born into this world.
What happened to the other 9, that feels that they’re consistently unlucky, that they wish they’re born into a rich family or something like that?
Or perhaps wishing that they’re born to another family, in another time, in another place.
Some of us are born lucky, while some are lucky to be born.
One of the statement, we can’t choose, but the other we can choose to embrace its intent.
I’m bloody lucky to be born, so what about you — which shoe do you choose to walk with?
Oct 6, 2010 General
If you’re like me, where you’re not smart, not talented, not skilled, not gifted, not attractive, not blessed and you wish to change your derailing fortunes, well then try doing this:
Work extra hard in doing the right things.
That’s right, you don’t just do work and you don’t just work hard, but you work extra hard.
Who’s smarter: The person who reads 99 books or the person who reads the same books, plus an additional 1 extra book?
Does being talented, skilled or gifted means being born with it, or does it mean putting in a few more hours of extra practice rounds in doing what you do?
And this begs the questions..
Did you do things right?
Or is it, have you done the right things?
Aug 3, 2010 General
Farid was asking me just the other day where he could get himself a copy of Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty, and I told him to head down to Funan Centre because I recalled printing a few murals of it’s launch over there recently.
So what’s so good about Starcraft II anyway, and why the massive hype surrounding this just-another-alien-versus-humans game?
After the epic success of the initial Starcraft game, and when a sequel was planned 7 years ago, you’d have forgiven if you had a hunch that the game was going to mimic the doomed, pun intended, failures in the ways of Doom Forever.
You see, Doom was THE game of its time back then and when a sequel was announced, every gamer who’s ever played it soiled themselves and anxiously waited for its sequel, Doom Forever.
Heh, what a name right, because the game is indeed doomed forever when the plug was pulled on its development last year, as the creators simply couldn’t decide on how to produce the game.
THANKFULLY, Blizzard’s arcane sense of games prevailed and Starcraft II has finally reached our shores after 7 bloody years of waiting, a sequel to THE RTS GAME of it’s time.
Some say it’s the balance nature of the game, some say it’s the action and thrils but whatever you think of it, it’s a game that deserved a sequel, if only to put in some extra $$$ into the pockets of the development team.
I’m not sure if the game itself have been sold out here after shipping 11 MILLION copies on its first week of release, but if you can’t wait to get a confirmation on your copy, you know where to click right?
(Yup that image you see here is an affilliate link and if you click there and buy your game from Amazon, I’m going to be able to afford myself half a cup of Starbucks finally. Or you can always type www.amazon.com and search for it yourself. Bah.)
Hmmm, so Farid, are you sure you can’t find yourself a copy in stores?
Jun 17, 2010 General
As my 2 cats slept nonchalantly on the mat that I initially laid for myself, I couldn’t bare to chase them away from their slumber — even if they were just a pair of adorable cats on a mat, becuase these creatures are more than just friends.
I wonder what I’ll be going through if age catches up to them, and everybody knows that domesticated cats don’t live a long as humans do, though those that do probably look more like a cow than a cat.
Anyway, who knows how long cats are able to live, especially with that 9 lives of theirs.
But we humans have just one chance to live our lives, and this, truly, makes everything worth living for.
Making friends, chasing dreams, and living life as much as we can, is all that we can really do right?
Or do we mull and gloss over our problems, spend time worrying and tax ourselves calculating incessantly?
What if you knew tomorrow isn’t ever gonna come and you had only one thing left to do?
Of course, all these I’m merely hypothetically suggesting, but what if?
Would you recluse in regret or live vindicated knowing that there’s nothing else that needs to be done, because you’ve done all that you can?
No, I can’t tell the future nor read minds, but I know that if there’s something I wish to do, somewhere I hope to be, or someone I yearn to spend time with then I’d do it, go there, or let them know.
Or at least try to, before considering alternatives.
Life is short, noone needs reminding but somehow everyone seems to forget that it is, and we procrastinate and let things be hoping it’ll get better tomorrow.
But why leave till tomorrow what you can get done today?
And are you pretty sure that tomorrow’s going to be a better day?
Well for your sake, I hope so too, and that you’ll never stop dreaming, never stop hoping and never stop trying.
Try. Hope. Work at it.
Who knows, instead of predicting the future, you could probably write it yourself.